children's story: Goldy Locks and the 3 Bears

( I know this is over done, but I like my version even though I didn't change much.)

Once upon a time there was a bear family with a Papa Bear, a Mama Bear, and a Baby Bear.  They lived in a beautiful house deep in the forest.  Just outside the forest there was another house where another family lived.  In that family there was a little girl named Goldy Locks because of her beautiful golden hair.

One day, Goldy Locks went for a long walk all by herself deep into the forest and she found the Bear home.  She walked all around the Bear home, looked in all the windows, and saw that nobody was home.  So Goldy Locks decided to go inside even though it was not her home and she did not have permission.

Inside the Bear home Goldy Locks saw three bowls of porridge on the kitchen table: a big bowl, a medium bowl, and a small bowl.  She tasted the porridge in the big bowl and said, "Humph, this porridge is toooo hot!"  Then she tasted the porridge in the small bowl and said, "This porridge is toooo cold!"  Then she tasted the porridge in the medium bowl and said, "Ummmm,  this porridge is juust right!"  And she ate the whole bowl even though it was not her porridge and she did not have permission.

Then Goldy Locks decided to explore the rest of the house and she made a big mess while she did so.  She knocked over a lamp in the living room.  She unrolled a bunch of toilet paper in the bathroom and splashed a bunch of water on the floor.  Then she went upstairs and found a room with a reallly big bed.  She jumped all over the really big bed and threw the pillows around.

Then Goldy Locks realized she was very tired from her long walk and all her exploring.  So she laid down on the bed and said, "This bed is toooo hard!".  Goldy Locks got up and went to the next room where she found a little bed.  She laid down on the little bed and said, "This bed is juuust right!"  And she went to sleep even though it was not her bed and she did not have permission.

While Goldy Locks was asleep, the Bear family came home and Papa Bear said, "Somebody has been in the house and somebody has tasted my porridge."  Baby Bear said, "Somebody tasted my porridge too!"  And Mama Bear said, "Somebody ate all of my porridge."  Then Papa Bear said, "Mama Bear, Baby Bear wait here.  I am going to go through the rest of the house and make sure it is safe."

Papa Bear saw the lamp that Goldy Locks knocked over in the living room.  He saw the toilet paper she unrolled and the water she splashed around in the bathroom.  When Papa Bear went into his room he saw that Goldy Locks had jumped all over his bed and threw his pillows around. 

Then Papa Bear went into Baby Bear's room and saw Goldy Locks asleep in Baby Bear's bed.  This made Papa Bear very angry because Papa Bear loves Baby Bear very much and seeing Goldy Locks asleep in Baby Bear's bed without permission made him feel like Baby Bear wasn't safe.  So he roared very loudly and woke Goldy Locks up.  She went, "Ahhhh!"  Then Papa Bear swatted Goldy Locks, and because Papa Bear is very big this hurt Goldy Locks and she began to cry.  "Whaaaah!" 

Then Papa Bear realized that Goldy Locks wasn't going to hurt Baby Bear, but he still couldn't be very nice to her because of all the bad decisions she made.  So he sent Goldy Locks away and she had to make the long walk home through the forest all alone even though she was hurt and crying.  Meanwhile, Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear gave each other big hugs and cleaned up the house together.


******
1) I did the order of the bowls of porridge to match natural cooling rates for food dished up from the same pot at the same time.  The biggest bowl is the hottest and the little bowl the coolest.  This is not the way I have heard it told.

2) Lists.  Little kids love the lists, but the list of messes that Goldy Locks made are common messes that little kids to make.  It helps later when I ask them not to make the messes.  Occasionally, I will roar instead of using my words. 

3) Emphasis on permission. 

4) Explanation of motivation for Papa Bear, who isn't arbitrarily angry, mean, or bad like the other versions of the story I have heard.

5) I don't put the whole Bear family in one bedroom nor in three like the other versions of the story I have heard.  I made the sleeping arrangements like home.

6)  This is Caroline's favorite story (she is starting to transition to Daniel and the Lion's Den)  and even though I get tired of telling it every night, I love it at the end when she wants her hug and she asks if I am her Papa Bear or alternately if she is my Baby Bear.  That is definitely the best part.

Save 74% on dish soap

A few years ago I got frustrated enough with dish soap prices that I did some experimentation, I have stuck with the blue Dawn dishsoap and not experimented with other varieties.

I found that I could use the suds pump (direct foam) with the ultra concentrate soap if I dilute it.  The soap comes in 24 oz and 56 oz  bottles.  After going through a 56 oz bottle, I pour the 24 oz of ultra concentrate soap into the empty 56 oz bottle, fill the rest of it with water (32 oz of water) and shake it up to mix it.  (Without a lot of air, you can't make a lot of suds.  I use that diluted ultra concentrate to refill the suds pump.  And there you go, cheaper dish soap!

The process of going through the initial 56 oz bottle is a bit of a pain, especially if somebody throws out the empty bottle on you.  If you use a graduated 1 cup measure, fill it to the 1/3 cup mark with ultra concentrate soap and then to the 3/4 cup mark with water.  This is NOT 1/3 cup soap and 3/4 cup water.  It is 1/3 cup soap and (3/4 - 1/3) cups water.  Then stir it gently with a fork to get it mixed but not foamed.  This makes 6 oz of soap for the pump, which takes 10 oz at a time.  So as you slooooowly go through the gigantic 54 oz bottle, you have to refill the pump about halfway at a time.  At least that is how I did it.  You could always just use an alternate container and mix a bunch up at once.

So, how cheap is it?

at walmart.com the 30.9 oz refill bottle is $5.64 or $0.1825 per oz.
The 24 oz ultra concentrate is $2.63, but we dilute it to 56 oz, for $0.0469 per oz.

That is a savings of 74% on the refills which Dawn claims already saves a bunch of money!

Update: I have tried the purple Dawn ultra concentrate and maybe I messed up the ratios some how but it is not pumping right.  Even if it was a mistake on my part, I will not be doing more purple just in case.  I got it because it is my daughter's favorite color, but she was unhappy when I diluted it and put it in a blue container making it not purple any more.

Children's Story: Jesus and the storm

A long time ago, Jesus was traveling by boat with the apostles from one city to another.  And Jesus was very tired so he went downstairs, what they call below deck on a boat, and he went to sleep.

While Jesus was asleep a big storm came.  There was a lot of wind, and a lot of rain.  There was a lot of lightening and a lot of thunder.  And there were big waves.  The waves were bigger than the boat.  And everybody on the boat thought that they were going to die.  Except for Jesus because he was asleep. 

Then one of the apostles, I think it was Peter, went and woke Jesus up saying, "Jesus, How can you sleep we are going to die!"  And Jesus got up, went upstairs, and told the storm to stop.  And the wind stopped.  And the rain stopped.  And the lightening stopped.  And the thunder stopped.  And waves stopped crashing over the side of the boat.  And everybody on the boat knew it was going to be okay.  They knew that they were going to live.  And Jesus went back downstairs and went back to sleep because he was still very tired.


*************

I want to make a few comments about this.  I know there are a few discrepancies from the Biblical account.  Namely,
1) In the Bible Christ in the "hinder part of the ship" (Mark 4), which I take to mean aft of the boat not below deck.
2) There is no mention of rain, thunder, or lightening in the Bible, only wind and waves.
3) The biblical account says disciples, which I think is generally understood to mean Apostles in this context, but it definitely names no names about who woke Jesus up.

There are a few features about this that I really like.
1)  It focuses a lot on sleep and how people need it.  Good bedtime story.  It is usually my finale.
2)  It has two features in particular that indicate it is a real and not make believe story. 
    a) It starts out with the chronological reference, "A long time ago"
    b) The phrase, "I think it was Peter" indicates there are real facts you could get wrong.
3)  The list of elements of the storm get repeated twice.  Most of the time we hear songs and stories that use quantities (Three bears, three pigs, five monkeys, ...)  but seldom the list and less seldom does it repeat (think Old McDonald).  My girls love hearing the list.  They count on it.  If I change the order either time it comes up, Caroline will complain about it.  The list is something that helps their memory skills and enthralls them. 
4) It gives the idea that they can ask Jesus for help, and hopefully their parents too.

Children's Song: Daddy's ABCs

Most of this one does not have an original tune as such.  This more of a keep the rythm kind of song.

I use the ABC's as a chorus:
7  ABCDEFG
6  HIJKLM
7  NOPQRST
6  UVWXYZ

(Verses I heard as a kid)
+
7  Mary had a little lamb
7  She kept it in the closet
7  And ev'ry time she let it out
8  It left a little deposit


7  Minnie was a skinny girl
6  The slimmest girl in town
8  She took a bath, went down the drain
6  And now the poor girl's drowned


(original verses for the girls)
6  Kittens are the cutest
5  Little balls of fur
8  And if you're really nice to them
5  Maybe they will pur


(I think this next one is my wife's favorite)
5  Paul was a preacher
7  And a very handsome man
8  Had the local girls confessing
5  Any way they can


7  Sally married a rockstar
6  For his fame and his wealth
7  But now she's divorced him
6  For his brains and his health



7  Fruit is my favorite food
7  It makes me feel all airy
7  That's because I'm all backed up
7  From eating eaten too much dairy


I went back and deleted a few of them that were less appropriate.  While I personally have a sometimes irreverent and inappropriate sense of humor, I have decided that there is enough garbage out there without me adding to it.

Children's song: Does your Diaper Hang Low?

Having two little girls, I get the opportunity to tell a lot of stories and make up a lot of songs.  A few of them I am particularly happy with and have decided to start sharing. 

As a note, I view sing-along songs as somewhat malleable in their timing.  Sometimes I don't strictly adhere to the number of syllables.  To help with that problem, I will put the lyrics from the base song first and the number of syllables at the beginning of each line.

ORIGINAL SONG: Do your ears hang low?
5  Do your ears hang low?
7  Do they wabble to and fro?
7  Can you tie them in a knot?
7  Can you tie them in a bow?
8  Can you throw them o'r (over) your shoulder
8  like a continental soldier?
5  Do your ears hang low?

MY VERSION: Does your diaper hang low?
6  Does your diaper hang low?
8  Does it wiggle when you waddle?
7  Have you smelt it for a while?
7  Can you smell it for a mile?
7  Is it hanging by your knees
7  begging someone change me please?
6  Does your diaper hang low?